Irony Dome for Britain NOW!

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By Gilad Atzmon

An Israeli magician who bought himself a reputation as a spoon bender is now determined to bend British politics or at least the water pipes in parliament. Uri Geller, who vowed last month to stop Brexit by telepathic means, admitted on Thursday that he 'telepathically' burst pipes in the House of Commons.

Tweeting to the House of Commons on Thursday, Geller said he would not apologise.

 “Yes I did it @HouseofCommons! I bent the pipes, and I won't apologise, you all deserve it! #brexit #startfromscratch,” Geller wrote.

 It is understood that water began pouring into the press gallery in what some have described as an “apocalyptic metaphor for Brexit”.

I do not think that anyone in Britain takes Geller seriously, however, since in current-day Britain people are charged and even imprisoned for expressing thoughts, I wonder how the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) is going to deal with an Israeli man who openly and unapologetically claims responsibility for vandalizing British public property?

If Geller continues to interfere with British politics telepathically, I would expect the Ministry of Defence (MOD) to advise the British public as well as the government on how it plans to counter this form of foreign intervention. Since Geller lives in Israel, I would believe that an Irony Dome made of an electro-magnetic shield could provide the nation with the necessary protection.

Meanwhile, Brits can feel safe in their dwellings as the Commons’ spokesman was quick to confirm that the water dripping last Thursday was actually caused by a leaky roof.

It may as well be possible that Geller is getting old and is seeing his supernatural abilities deflate.  He probably aimed to bend some pipes but ended up breaking some roof tiles instead.


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