After all I am a Proper Zionist Jew by Gilad Atzmon

I am a Holocaust survivor

Yes, I am a survivor, for I have managed to survive all the scary accounts of the Holocaust: the one about the soap (1), the one about the lamp shades, the one about the camps, the mass shooting, the one about the gas (2) and the one about the death march (3). I just managed to survive them all.

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Moisha’le’s New Suit by Hans Christian Underdog


Wednesday, November 7, 2007


NOT THAT MANY years ago, at the hub of the Kosher Palestinian solidarity cyber ghetto lived a Marxist emperor named Moisha’le, who thought so much of new clothes for the progressive cosmopolitan chosen people that he spent all his time in trying to obtain them; his only ambition was to make his very people look as important and righteous as he mistakenly believed himself to be. But in fact, he did not truly care for his two and a half obedient Gefilte soldiers, and the Palestinian reality did not bother him either. For instance, he believed that as far as the Palestinian struggle is concerned, fighting anti-Semitism was a major priority. For him, starvation in Gaza or the emerging involvement of Zionists in the American imperial wars were something that one should not even bother to mention in any significant way. For every event and occasion emperor Moisha’le had a ready-made proletarian thought to offer. And as one would say of a king “He is in his cabinet,” so one could say of him, “Moisha’le was well imbued is in his red light kosher haven philosophy.”
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Mein Little Kind Lenni’le by Hans Christian Underdog

A short theatrical piece in which Freethepeeps, Indymedia UK administrator pulverizes Lenni’le Brenner, a Jewish Secular Fundamentalist. Mamma Brenner speaks from heaven. The clever old woman, a voice of Jewish wisdom, tries relentlessly to save her little progressive Kind, but as it seems, the infantile elder is determined to bring it all on himself.

The short play is based on a shocking documented exchange between an archivist Lenni Brenner and IM UK administrator Freethepeeps. It can be found here:

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Jewnetic Engineering by Gilad Atzmon

As the Israeli Army buries its dead in what seems to be a war that the Jewish State can never win, we happen to learn from a high official within the Pentagon that Israel is about to make use of what seems to be its ultimate devastating weapon. We also have discovered that the recent French-American diplomatic push for a UN Security Council Resolution calling for an immediate cease-fire is there to postpone the deployment of this new weapon, preventing Israel from dragging the world into a new horrifying phase of warfare, with results whose outcome cannot be predicted.
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Operation Security Roof by Gilad Atzmon

Monday, August 7, 2006

Following the IDF difficulties in defeating Hezbollah’s and Hamas’s ballistic warfare, the Israeli Government is now searching for contractors with some advanced experience in large scale reinforced concrete constructions. The mission ahead is the building of a solid concrete roof over the entire Jewish State (known as ‘Greater Israel’). PM Olmert is determined that the only way to defend Israel’s populated area is to cover the Jewish State with a thick layer of iron and cement.

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PM Gordon Brown, Here Is My Shopping List by Gilad Atzmon

Jan 20th, 2009 

Gordon Brown the British PM has managed to come up yesterday with one of his most immoral and irresponsible announcements so far. In his desperate attempt to appease notorious Israeli war criminal leadership, Brown pleaded to redeploy the British Navy in the region.  “We'll send Royal Navy to help fight (weapon) smuggling,” said the British PM.

Mr PM, can’t you see for yourself the total carnage inflicted on the innocent Palestinian civilians by the IDF?  Didn’t you follow, like the rest of us, the horrendous indiscriminate killing of Palestinian civilians perpetrated by the Israel army while being fully supported by the Israeli Jewish population? Did you also manage to miss the repeated Israeli usage of unconventional weapons against innocent civilians? Did you fail to learn about the repeating reports of Israeli bombardments of UN refugee centres

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Self-Haters Unite By Gilad Atzmon


More than two months ago, following the cartoon scandal and the outrage of the Muslim world that ensued, a group of Israelis announced their own anti-Jewish cartoons contest ( At the time, they received very wide coverage in the Israeli media and Jewish supportive press around the world. At the end of the day, the Israelis in particular, and Jews in general, insist on being ‘seen’ as open-minded beings, people who can easily handle self-mockery.

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