Uri Geller and Roseanne Barr to Use 'Telepathic Powers' to Stop Corbyn

By Gilad Atzmon



Those who have appointed themselves to speak in the name of British Jews are determined to use any means to stop Corbyn. And they are not alone. Now, we learn from the rabid Zionist Jewish Chronicle that Israeli born psychic and spoon bender Uri Geller is firmly committed to stopping the Labour leader from becoming our PM. 

 Geller spoke in Jerusalem on a panel with Roseanne Barr at an event chaired by American rabbi, Shmuley Boteach. In answer to a question about the Labour Party leader, Mr. Geller told the Jerusalem audience: “I have no problem in saying he is an antisemite. God forbid if he takes control.”

Rabbi Boteach asked Geller if he thought his celebrity status might be harmed by speaking out and calling Mr. Corbyn an antisemite.

“With all my telepathic powers I am not going to let that happen,” Geller said. “I have charisma, if I said it, I would say it in the right way. I would have to say it live on TV in Britain and feel the Jewish people looking at me.”

Ms Barr, could not resist. She said she too would support Mr Geller with her own “telepathic powers.”

This peculiar public exchange among three Jewish celebrities about Britain’s political future was reported by the Jewish Chronicle as a ‘news item.’  Apparently it was the most read article on the JC yesterday. Personally, I do not believe that Corbyn is on his way to 10 Downing Street nor do I think that his party, in its current state, is able to lead a country: it can’t even lead itself. I do wonder, however, whether the Brits are prepared for this crude supernatural interference with what is left of their crumbling democracy. Perhaps the MOD together with MI6 should begin immediate consideration of countermeasures. My guess is that saturating Britain with a high velocity magnetic field might suppress the powers of the spoon. Apparently no one has ever found an effective remedy for Barr’s ‘telepathic powers.’  

Geller explained his support for Theresa May and the Tories to his Jerusalem audience. “It is important that she [Theresa May] stays in power because god forbid Corbyn should take her place,”  Do I detect a hint of self-doubt in Geller’s statement? It sounds like the psychic doesn’t fully trust his own supernatural powers, nor does he seem assured by Roseanne Barr’s telepathic assistance. In the end, it is God that he asks to save the chosen people from the Amalekite Labour leader.

As an avid reader of Jewish history, I would advise Geller not to put his trust in his creator. For some peculiar reason the Jewish God tends to take a holiday when his favourite people are in desperate need of divine intervention. 


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ATB

Gilad