Jewish Accessories by Gilad Atzmon
Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the wonderful word of modern Jewish accessories.
If you want to know what contemporary Jewish identity is, you may like to check out what products are available for Jewish consumption.
They Love it from Behind
Nationalist Jews do love it from behind, at least as far as their cars are concerned.
Here is a list of Jewish stickers to put on your car’s bumper. It includes “Blue and White Forever”, “I Support the IDF”, “Fight Terror Support Israel”. The sticker is there to identify the tribal and political affiliation of the owners of dusty Volvos ahead of you.
Heart and Balls
In order to maintain the tribe, a special care should be taken to protect the Jewish heart and the kosher genes.
Titan Anti Terrorist Vest is the perfect solution. It will shield your heart and guard the Jewish Testicals.
Instead of Nazi Memorabilia
Considering the hazards of purchasing Nazi memorabilia, the IDF accessory shop may be a perfect solution. The IDF’s new Helmet seems to be a genuine copy of the Nazi one. For Just $320 you can buy yourself a modern Jewish helmet, one that ‘covers the ears’ so that you can’t hear the cry of Palestinian babies or Lebanese orphans.
Here is some good news for Jewish dogs. We do not have to circumcise you anymore…. From now on we can provide Jewish dogs with a kosher ‘dog collar’
Pin for the Kidnapped
Gilad Shalit is not just a ‘human being’ as his campaign suggests, he is actually a human being with a pin. The Jewish military accessory shop identified a hole in the market. For just $10 you can decorate yourself with a sexy pin that expresses a solidarity with a human being as well as soldier who served as a guard in a concentration camp. What a bargain.
For Music Lovers
The Israeli military shop offers the best WMD boots for Glastonbury Festival and other UK wet and muddy summer events. It gives “total protection for at least 6 hours”. I wonder what happens then…
Dubai don’t worry Mossad is Behind you
As we learn time after time, some Jews out there are taking pride of their killing squads.
A perfect gift for a ‘Jewish Humanist’ and ‘Jewish anti Zionists’
As we all know there are at least two dozen Jewish humanists who are totally devastated and repulsed by the crimes that are committed by the Jewish state in the name of the Jewish people. Those brilliant and kind Jews cannot close their eyes in the night. The Jewish military accessory shop thought about them and their sleepless nights.
It made just for them a Teddy Bear, a kosher cuddly toy for Jewish Marxist, progressive and alike.
“Soft, fluffy and lovable - furry teddy bear with Israel sweater. Cute memento... from Israel with love!”