NEWS ALERT! Jewish Assimilation – It is happening!
JEWISH WOMAN ORDERS DIRECTLY FROM MENU!
SKOKIE, IL - At7:52 last evening, according to local reports, a local Jewish lady, Laura Becker, ordered directly from a menu without asking for any changes, substitutions, or ne-gotiating with the waitress. We have not been able to independently verify the claims, but if confirmed, this would represent the first case in documented history of a Jew ordering food without making any changes or special requests.
I simply did not know what to do, said waitress Susan Smith. She said I would like the tuna on rye, please and then handed me back the menu. I just kept waiting but she didn't say anything. No can you hold the lettuce, no can I substitute the coleslaw for pickles? Nothing! It was very scary, said a clearly shaken Smith.
Though some have called into question the accuracy of Smiths claim, others have taken a different approach. “If that did happen, and I'm not saying it didn't, but if it did, then that woman who ordered was clearly not Jewish,” said local drapery consultant Mike Viner. If confirmed, the effect of the incident would have enormous impact on the gastronomical identity of Jews around the world.
Please check back for details regarding this developing story.
(And they didn't even mention not liking the table location!)